The Lost Goodbye

Milestones. Usually they are beautiful. But with Autism they can be bittersweet. I remember when my oldest daughter was young I would watch the other infants. I would watch them play. I would watch them look into their mother's eyes. They were calm. They slept. When they cried they could be soothed. Their mothers could…

What We Celebrate

There is a game we play called Autism. It’s a game that tells us all how we must feel about Autism and what we must say about it. It’s a game where we all must pretend to like Autism. We must pretend that it’s a gift. We must say it’s beautiful. We must celebrate it. …

Make Me a Cake

Sometimes, on the good days, I watch my daughters playing in the yard.  Three beautiful girls. Three of my dearest Earthly treasures.   I see my oldest daughter. I see her 8 year old legs, running, barefoot and carefree through the summer grass.  I see her soft golden hair glowing in the afternoon light. Her blue…

We Will Bake Brownies

Tonight I sat on your bed with you, My little Sunshine Girl.  We snuggled. I twirled your golden hair in the soft glow of the nightlight. I held your soft, still dimpled, 7 year old little hand in mine. I looked into your clear, blue, laughing eyes.  Do you know you have the sweetest blue…

How Beautiful

I saw you today at the grocery store. Tired. Hunched over. Sad. Your snow white hair was combed neatly across your forehead. Your blue and white plaid shirt tucked snugly into your denim pants.  A middle aged man followed a few steps behind you. He picked up a box of mashed potatoes and dropped them…